There are times when cheaters assume that their actions don’t impact anyone else. They’re oblivious to the impact. They know what they get out of it, yet are blind to its effects on others.
One affair that continues impacting us today is that of Percy Shelly. You’ve likely heard about him in your English literature class. English teachers tend to share his poetry with you, but hide his immoral back story from their students.
What’s often not mentioned is that he was married as a teenager. His first marriage began with his impulsive eloping to marry a friend of his sister after his romantic relationship with his cousin had soured. Yes, he tried hooking up with his cousin, but that didn’t work out.
One of the girls at his sister’s boarding school, Harriet was unhappy at boarding school. She made dramatic suicidal threats about having to stay there. Shelly, ever the romantic, came to her rescue.
Although his father forbid him from seeing Harriet, it didn’t stop him from marrying her. His father thought the girl was beneath Percy, since her father operated a tavern.
Percy ignored his father’s warning and married the girl. Two years later they became young parents.
Surprisingly, Shelly took offense when a friend, whom he invited to move in with them, made advances toward his wife. The friend was promptly asked to leave.
His wife’s sister later moved in with them. He resented the sister and began spending more time away from home. He thought the sister had too much influence on his wife.
While away, he met the 15-year old daughter of a mentor named Mary. He was so smitten with her that he ran away from his wife. Although he was ‘robbing the cradle’, the radicals of that time excused his antics.
The relationship of Percy and Mary Shelly is a story that could happen today, even though it occurred two hundred years ago.
The love relationship between Percy and Marry is often idealized, and surrounded with exclamations of “how romantic!“. When you look at the details, it was far from dreamy portrayal that’s often given to students.
When such romances are idealized, is it any wonder that society still struggles with infidelity?
Mary Shelly’s book Frankenstein left its mark on culture and continues doing so. Their relationship continued influencing authors like Thoreau and the writers behind Breaking Bad. (Is it any wonder that Breaking bad had affairs?)
Their affair impacted their age and ours. Their affair continues its rippling impact through the centuries.
Although your English teacher may portray their relationship in romantic terms, dumping your wife and infant child to run off with a teenager remains morally reprehensible and irresponsible. Their affair continues impacting lives now 200 years since it happened. By romanticizing the relationship, their affair is condoned as are others that are done with ‘romantic intent’.
When you condone ‘romantic affairs’ you lose any moral authority to stand on when you have to face an affair in your own family. By excusing Percy’s running off with a 15-year old, in the name of ‘literature’, ‘romance’ or whatever, you end up weakening your own marriage.
Imagine how different things would have been had Percy worked out his differences with Harriet. Instead of his running off with a teenager being romanticized, he would have instead written of love and healed relationships.
The problem with romanticizing Percy’s relationship with Mary is that it lends acceptance to affairs. It’s bad enough having an affair, its worse when the lover is a teenager.
There were issues between he and Harriet. Those issues could have been worked out. It could be that Shelly avoided using his skillful use of emotional expression with his wife. Had he used those same skills to express himself and work things out in his marriage, things would have turned out very different.
What wife wouldn’t want a husband who could express his emotions and feelings as well as Percy Shelly did?
If you want help for you and your marriage while recovering from an affair, consider joining the Restored Lifestyle site. There you’ll find places where you can share your story and as part of membership have access to the videos and programs that guide you through your challenges.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
