When Sandi cheated on Charlie, he was devastated. The woman who he married and put all his trust in let him down.
When he found out about the affair, Charlie cratered. Emotionally, he collapsed. It took all he had to keep from falling down.
For the first time in his life, he felt like his knees were about to buckle.
He felt all his strength and mojo drain from him in a matter of seconds. He described himself at that time as feeling like a ‘deflated balloon”.
Now, a few months later, Sandi is wanting back in his life. She wants to work things out with him. Charlie faces the new challenge of how can he trust her.
Although he asked Sandi “How can I trust you?” His heart is torn.
He’s not really looking for ways of trusting her. He honestly doesn’t know where to start trusting her. He’s looking for a reason to trust her again.
It’s just easier asking ‘how‘ in covering a multitude of his doubts.
He’s not sure if he can trust her or if she is even trustworthy. He has trouble thinking about a future with her when his mind obsesses over what she did to him in the past.
Another problem for Charlie is that he still loves her. They have so much history together, he can’t imagine life without her.
Charlie is stuck. He can’t move forward and can’t leave the past.
There are times you can relate to Charlie and the challenges he is facing. You’ve been there yourself.
It’s painful staying where he’s at, yet it’s scary doing anything about it or even asking for help. Sure, you could talk to a counselor, but you just want your spouse back. You’re not interested in psychobabble.
This is where the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” helps. You can know what to do that moves your relationship forward. Moving ahead is preferred to holding grudges and living in the past.
The answer for Charlie’s dilemma is confronting and moving past his fears. This is likely the answer for your dilemma as well.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
