A reader recently posed a challenging question. She stated, “I do wish there was more information on techniques to reset the brain, reestablish stress tolerance baseline and move past the trauma state.”
On reading it, I took a step back and said to myself, “Wow!” followed by ‘She gets it’. She recognizes that her brain can be reset. She doesn’t have to keep recycling through the affair trauma in her life.
She realizes that she can move past triggering behaviors and attitudes.
The good news is that there are ways of getting a do-over regarding your brain and nervous system’s reaction to trauma. You can reset the system. You don’t have to be a slave to your reactions.
The challenge lies in going through the resetting in the right sequence. The more complex the trauma you’re facing the more important following the right sequence is.
The process starts with admitting you have a problem and need help. It’s not enough to just admit it. You’ll need to tell yourself that repeatedly. One therapist recommends saying it to yourself at least 25 times.
Once you’ve completed admitting to the problem and needing it, you can start working on ways of ‘re-programming’ your brain. There are a variety of proven techniques. What they share in common is a common core of developing flexibility in your reactions.
Approaches such as narrative therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Pattern Interruption, EMDR, stress inoculation training and others have shown effectiveness in helping overcome trauma. These tools each help improve your emotional resilience.
Besides developing flexibility (aka resilience), steps are needed in attitudinal transformation as well. This is where developing an attitude of gratitude is essential. This helps keep the old attitudes from creeping back in.
Besides the emotional resetting, after a trauma your nervous system needs dietary changes in order to repair the damaged portions of your nervous system. The coping reserves have been depleted and now need replenishing, especially the fats and helpful chemicals.
The trauma changed how your body works and now it needs repairing. Without those repairs, it’s only a matter of time for the problems to return. It’s not enough to just change your thinking without repairing the damaged parts of your body.
It’s also important separating out forgiveness from resetting your brain. Forgiving alone is not enough to reset your brain. It helps, yet resetting requires more than just forgiveness alone.
I think this is where many people get tripped up. They forgive, yet don’t follow through with other necessary steps in resetting their brains. This leaves issues half-dealt with.
Yes, you’ve taken some initial steps, yet half-dealt with means it’s still not resolved. In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” I explain what trauma does to your body and brain along with some ways of moving past those changes.
The changes you endure due to the trauma don’t have to be a life sentence. You may have tried moving past the trauma and found yourself more stuck than ever. There are reasons for that. You can discover those reasons and start improving yourself.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
