When the prophet Daniel wrote about an idol having ‘feet of clay’, I don’t know if he considered that the idiom would continue into the 21st century. The idiom is used in referring to someone having human or character flaws.
I found myself facing a ‘feet of clay’ moment recently. Reports came out that someone I admire was mired in sex-related allegations. What hurts more is that he was in a pastoral role of prominence.
With the allegations surrounding him, it left me with many questions. I wondered if the allegations were true, whether there was a reason for them along with wondering how much to believe.
When pastors with great influence have feet of clay, it bothers me more than when prominent politicians or cultural icons are in a similar light. Over the years, I’ve heard the wild affair rumors surrounding such public figures as LBJ, MLK, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, President Kennedy and others. Such rumors are unsettling as well.
They leave me feeling unsure about their decision-making. Perhaps that comes from working with couples recovering from affairs for so many years.
I learned the hard way that just bringing up questions about public figures having feet of clay gets me nasty looks. When someone is a cultural icon or a public figure, there’s an unwritten rule about their bedroom behavior being ‘off limits’.
When someone has their image on t-shirts or have statues erected to them, you are not allowed to question their bedroom behaviors or their family values.
There are lessons worth noting from ‘feet of clay’ moments. One is that just the allegation of such behavior is unsettling. When the allegations have legs, they are even more disturbing.
I also know that no one is immune from making poor choices. Even public figures make poor choices at times.
A second one is that many of those in positions of influence have struggled with relapse prevention. Some ignored it totally, thinking they can handle their urges.
Their affairs are poor choices, their lack of relapse prevention is an even poorer choice.
Others may have acknowledged their questionable decision-making in having an affair yet did little in terms of preventing relapse or changing the unhealthy patterns in their lives.
In some ways, their celebrity status had them trapped in a state of denial about their actions. They believed their own press.
The good news is that if you have ‘feet of clay’ you can do something about it, before things get even more out of hand. Denying that affairs are a problem or telling yourself that affairs are the perks of the position only make things worse.
In the video, “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery“, I address what you can do that starts turning your life around. You don’t have to let clay feet become a way of life for you.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
