Although many couples recognize that they have “communication problems”, few are willing to honestly examine and consciously change the patterns of behavior that keep it going. One of those “communication” problems that I have often seen is when one spouse repeatedly states, that their spouse “just won’t listen to me” or its variant “they don’t understand me”. Although on the surface, it sounds like a legitimate concern, when I see them interact with their spouse, what is often defined as “not listening” or “not understanding” is in reality their spouse not ‘agreeing’ with them. When they confuse the meanings of their actions, it is no wonder that communication problems exist. Somehow they confuse listening to a person=agree with that person and acknowledge that they are right. This confusion of terms makes honest communication difficult. Very often the person complaining sincerely believes that they are ‘good communicators’, it is just that their spouse is a lousy listener.
I mention this in regard to affairs because communication is essential in working through the issues. You will find that your spouse may not see things like you do. That does not mean that they are not listening to you or understand you, they just disagree with you.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
2 Responses
granda bolias de aguveslel y ncimenhar con diana pamobos. derde a istiaso y ferva ssento con acades ssorria!
Canasta,
Thank you for your comment. It is unfortunate that you have the problems with Diana. It is my hope that the material on the blog helps.