A couple of years ago, my father and I were discussing contemporary family issues. Although we often talked about relationships and marriage issues, this time our focus was on family. More specifically modern attitudes about family.
He observed that many families avoided the label of ‘blended family’ along with ‘remarried’ and other similar labels. Those labels carried baggage with them, which the families didn’t like.
The names didn’t change the fact that they’re blended families, they just didn’t like the name. They really didn’t like names like ‘fractured family’ or talk of brokenness.
The issue of what to call these families was important to him, since the label would be used for a Sunday School class for those parents. He knew that labels that have stigmas would discourage people from attending.
Eventually he found a name that worked with the families and for himself. The whole process and thinking behind it started me thinking.
When you ‘redefine’ what is family and what you call it, you change the whole understanding of family. This is likely why so many groups are working diligently toward redefining what family and marriage are.
The old traditional definitions leave those who operate outside of them with stigmas and baggage. Instead of making reference to home wreckers, it’s now more acceptable calling the new arrangement ‘a new family’ or ‘the love family’ or some other contrived label.
Calling the affair anything less only waters down its corrupting influence. It makes the unpalatable act more acceptable in some social circles. Instead of emphasizing the betrayal or the sin behind what happened, modern culture glamorizes the ‘love’ created.
If you want to move past the affair, it requires being honest about what happened, what it did to your family and where the two of you are at. Redefining affairs as non-consensual non-monogamy or some other modernist ilk hides what happened.
You need honesty in order to move ahead. In the video ‘Overcoming the Affair Crisis’, I guide you through handling that crisis and what it takes to make the next step.
You can move past the quagmire of the new socially approved labels that only serve to confuse things. You’ll have to in order to have a marriage worth saving.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
