In going through the news this morning, I came across an article from the Daily Star out of Great Britain. The article concerned a woman discovering her husband’s affair a decade earlier.
She was devastated by the news. Although a decade had passed since it happened, it still hurt. This is one of the problems with affairs. Even when they happened years before, the pain of betrayal continues over time.
Time doesn’t lessen the pain of betrayal. If you are one of those who thinks time heals all wounds, you are mistaken. Infidelity is an exception to that idea.
The pain of affairs trumps time.
In many ways waiting years before dealing with the issue works against you. Your spouse holds those years of silence against you.
Instead of the years being a buffer or shield against the pain, they instead act like a pain enhancement. They intensify the reaction to the infidelity rather than reduce it.
That same article included a link to a video where a girlfriend’s infidelity from two years prior was exposed. On being exposed, she reacted by walloping her boyfriend.
The reactions to old affairs are strong triggers for both the cheater and the betrayed. One want the truth to stay buried. Both react to the unwelcome truth rising from its grave.
The years since the affair lead to even more doubts about you and your choices. If you’re the betrayed, you feel like those years were spent living a lie.
This means that if there are old affairs, they need to be dealt with and settled. This is where the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” comes in. It guides you through what you need in starting the recovery for you and your spouse.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
