Anytime I hear from an old friend, it’s always refreshing. Within a few minutes of conversation, old memories and feelings surround me.
Like familiar old clothes, there’s a comfort in talking with them. Just the sound of their voice puts me at ease.
Staying in touch is part of keeping those old connections working.
Communication is critical in maintaining relationships. Communication includes the whole package, from their facial reactions, to other non-verbals, the tone of their voice, eye contact, what they say, their choice of words and more.
Although it’s important, you may not have considered all the parts involved. You simply view it as ‘communication’ without giving a second thought to all the parts involved.
When it flows, it flows and refreshes. When it is strained or forced, it changes the whole message you’re trying to get across.
Instead of putting others at ease, strained communication creates added tension and awkwardness. Even the silence changes. Rather than being a time of refreshing, it instead turns into unbearable tension.
Damaged communication hurts your relationships. What’s worse is that the damage done can’t be erased to taken away.
When your communication is damaged, and you try having one of those critical talks about the affair, the results are disastrous. Afterwards, you wonder “what happened?”
There may be parts of your ‘whole package’ of your communicating that’s distorting what you’re trying to convey. Your tone of voice by be turning what you said into nagging or screeching.
You may have had loving or even innocent intentions, yet when it came time for delivery, you were misunderstood or it was taken the ‘wrong way’.
Truth be told, when things are taken the ‘wrong way‘, there’s a good chance that their reaction was a reflection of what they heard and the way it was delivered.
I understand how you don’t want to have to make changes, especially when it comes to something as personal as how you communicate, especially when stressed.
Making a few changes produces different outcomes. Learn skills that change the outcomes of those talks you have with your spouse about the affair.
In the video, “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions”, I share with you ways of delivering your messages that bypasses their defensiveness. There are ways of getting their attention without screaming or yelling at them.
There are ways of opening up conversations without having to start a conflict. You’ll also learn ways of bypassing their defenses when it comes time to talk.
Order your copy today and start changing the communication habits in your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
