There are some truths that make people squirm, including myself. I know when I encounter them, I cringe on hearing them. Even though they’re unpleasant, I still have to face them and deal with them.
One of those ‘uncomfortable truths’ is that some spouses put out the welcome mat for affairs. Without consciously intent, they encourage affairs. Your attitude toward affairs really does matter.
I know you don’t approve of affairs, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Although you ‘disapprove’ of them on a conscious level, when you get honest with yourself, are ‘affairs’ a big part of your entertainment diet?
You want your spouse to be honest. It’s also important for you to be honest about this uncomfortable truth with yourself as well.
I was reminded of this on seeing an article entitled, ’19 Movies about Cheating we secretly can’t stop watching‘.
When you begin viewing movies that glamorize cheating as part of your entertainment diet, it starts changing you. Such movies start softening your mind up to the idea of cheating.
They make it not look so bad. They make affairs look like a viable choice. Allowing those ideas into your mind is part of affair programming.
Movies like these make cheating look good in some cases. They put the beautiful people in the key roles as part of making cheating look acceptable.
You wouldn’t consider peeping in on your neighbor’s as appropriate behavior, yet are willing to do so vicariously with affair movies.
The same logic of making affairs look glamorous is used in porn movies, except that they have more graphic displays of sexual activity. The graphic depictions bring arousal, which triggers increased desire for that activity in the viewer’s own life.
Even the non-porn cheating movies manipulate you with music and suggestive scenes to arouse the viewers. When you’re aroused, you quit thinking about the consequences.
Movies promoting cheating rarely show the destruction that cheating brings.
I admit that I’ve seen some of the ones on the list, albeit not as films that I watch more than once. It’s not by accident that attractive people are used in such films. It makes them more appealing.
In moving past the affair, it’s important that you don’t open the door to cheating, even in the name of ‘entertainment’. This is especially critical as part of relapse prevention.
What you see as entertainment, the cheater views differently. The scenes and subject matter can trigger a desire for returning to the affair. Part of affair recovery needs a ‘zero tolerance’ policy toward affairs, even in terms of entertainment choices.
Ignoring this risk won’t make it go away. The uncomfortable truth is that those movies pose a threat to your marriage. Getting past the affair requires effort, including saying ‘no’ to some things.
In my video on ‘Overcoming Affair Relapse‘ I address the topic of triggers and the many object or items that turn into triggers. There are hidden dangers out there that can ruin the progress you’ve made.
Order your copy of the video and start preparing you and the betrayer for a better life. You can face the uncomfortable truths and make things better.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
