There are times when people say things so extreme I have to ask myself “What did she say?” or “Did she really say what I thought she said?” At those times I either ask them to repeat what they said or re-read their statement.
I have to be sure I heard it and understood it. These days things are so confused and twisted I have to make sure I understood what I thought I heard.
An example is the actress Meghan James who recently stated, “I believe in cheating respectfully.” The first time I saw what she said, I had to re-read it, then re-read it again.
It’s no wonder she’s known as the ‘Texas temptation’, and has a fan following for being a ‘bad girl’. She approves of cheating within certain parameters. I still wonder how do you cheat ‘respectfully?’ The whole act of cheating is an act of disrespect.
Cheating disrespects your marriage, your spouse and yourself. At the moment you cheat, you indulge yourself in a self-seeking sinful act.
I wonder how you made adultery respectful. Does that come from following rules or codes of conduct? That’s something that hookers do. The last I checked, following rules doesn’t make prostitution respectful or acceptable.
You can change where you cheat and do it in high-class surroundings, but that doesn’t make it more respectable. All that does is make it high-class cheating.
Even porn can be produced in elegant surroundings and those doing it may do it with manners, but it’s still porn. The elegant surroundings and manners don’t make it respectful.
At least Meghan is honest. She makes it clear that she believes in cheating. She’s okay with violating the boundaries of her marriage as long as its within the boundaries of respect. What happens when the boundaries of respect are violated?
Then there’s the whole issue of respect. Respect is about giving someone attention or regard. Is she saying that you can cheat when your focus remains on your marriage. Do you fantasize about your spouse when your with the lover?
What happens when your focus is on the lover when your with your spouse? You’re being respectful, although to the lover rather than to your spouse.
The cheating ‘respectfully’ myth is a slippery slope. It amounts to saying that she doesn’t respect her own marriage or the institution of marriage. Affair start when your focus or attention leaves your spouse and goes somewhere else.
When cheating happens, whether respectfully or disrespectfully, it damages you and your marriage. At that point, your marriage needs help. The wounds from the affair create distance between you and your spouse.
Tolerating the affair in terms of whether or not it’s respectful is only playing head games with yourself. When you’re tired of playing head games and want your marriage healed, download the Affair Recovery Workshop and start turning things around.
The only way of regaining respectability is through recovering from the affair. Start changing things in your marriage today.
Click and download it now rather than waiting for another day.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
