Back in the late 70’s a song came out entitled “Torn Between Two Lovers” performed by Mary MacGregor. Although there have been remakes of the song since then, it’s the original version that I remember.
Although I never liked the song, it’s stuck with me over the years. Part of what makes it so memorable was how a friend of mind had his own rendition of the song.
He often went around singing “Torn between 200 lovers” with a smirk on his face. Although he changed the wording for fun, it carried an element of truth for him. His charming ways made it a theme song for him.
He literally had a line of women interested in him. Since it was back in the days of discos and clubbing, being around him was akin to living in “Saturday Night Fever” in real life.
He literally maintained a notebook with ratings he gave all the women he hooked up with. Had I not seen the infamous book myself, it would be unbelievable.
When songs are timeless or jokes really funny, it’s because they contain a kernel of truth. They have enough truth in them to resonate inside you. For him, the song was truthful.
Although it was truthful then, these days, he’s changed and is now committed to one woman.
That old song he sang now takes on some new shades of truth as I continue working with recovery from affairs. Many cheaters are torn between two or more lovers.
They’re caught in the orbits of each relationship they are part of. Each of them has managed laying claim to parts of the cheater’s heart. They try living in two separate worlds.
When you are ‘torn’ between them, the real issue is that you want both. When you refuse ending one of the relationships, you’ve voted for keeping them both.
The problem with keeping them both is that it keeps you stuck. When you’re stuck, you can’t move forward with either one. It limits the growth of each relationship.
Sure, you can keep the relationship rocking, but it limits how deep they can go. It puts limits on the amount of intimacy and growth that can occur.
If you are one of those struggling with being torn between lovers, you’ll benefit from “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery“. It guides you through the challenges of making the necessary changes needed in healing your marriage relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
