There are times when often repeated lines from television shows or songs stick in my head. A line from the show “The IT Crowd” has been stuck in my head lately.
The oft-repeated line repeated by members of the IT department members “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” sticks with me. In the show, Roy and Moss, the geeks in the IT department, eventually set up a tape recorder with that question since they asked it so often.
When I think of that line, I am reminded about a few things. One is that technology by its very nature is an enabler of humanity and can be a force for good or evil. Technology by itself is neutral. It’s the how humans use it and the context in which it exists that makes something good or bad.
Another is that, many IT and computer issues are helped with that one simple procedure. That procedure is turning it off and then on again. The power button works miracles at times. It can solve or lessen problems with a computer system, network or other technology.
When my mind gets overwhelmed, I hear the main characters, Roy and Moss ask “Have you tried turning off and on again?” It’s a push to step back and calmly try something. Something that seems simple and straightforward can be the answer to resolve issues.
That line going off in my head reminds me of the importance of seeking simple solutions. Since I have a tendency to complicate matters, it brings me back to simple, practical solutions.
Just turning it off and then on again isn’t the answer every time, but a surprisingly number of times does help. I can’t tell you how many times doing this has alerted me to updates of some program I was using. At those moments, I needed the update and didn’t know it was there.
Other times you may need to turn it off and leave it overnight to reset. The next day, try turning if off and back on, just as you would your car’s engine.
Turning anything off and back on can be a resetting and restarting for you and for what you are turning on.
When you’re dealing with an affair, it takes over your mind and your thinking. It’s fair saying that it becomes an obsession in your mind. One of the problems associated with the obsessive take over is that it keeps you from seeing simple solutions to problems.
At that point, you can’t just turn it off and then on again. Although you can’t restart your marriage, you can look for simple solutions.
You are so immersed in the affair, you miss simple solutions. You miss being able to think straight. Problems that previously you could easily handle become hard to solve.
It’s not that you suddenly become dumb or stupid. When you are in an affair, you think about that person and the issues between you over and over. You keep thinking of possible solutions but can’t find any to make your situation better. Within time, it’s not just that you can’t solve problems; they become bigger and more complex.
When your mind is clouded by obsession, it locks onto one or two items and disregards anything else.
Your problem-solving ability along with thinking through matters gets impaired. Your brain and emotions get stuck. When they’re stuck, you don’t see the simple solutions in front of you.
Human hearts and minds don’t have a power button that you can turn off and on again. Although they don’t have such a button, you can learn ways of resetting your mind and emotions.
This is what’s behind the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma”. In the video, I guide you in dealing with the trauma of getting stuck and ways of getting you unstuck. With practice, you can unstick yourself and begin self-soothing once again.
You can learn how to calm down your mind and get unstuck. You can begin living again and getting on with life instead of wondering what will happen next in the affair.
You don’t have to stay stuck or remain in ‘trauma functioning mode’. You can reset your mind and emotions. There are ways of turning your mind off and then on again when it comes to traumas like affairs.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
