When one of your close friends starts down the path of addiction, it’s painful to watch. Even now it’s painful recalling how my close friend went down that path.
It started with comforting his pain. Over time the drug of choice he used took over. The pain was only the entry point. It opened the door for addiction to start its work.
My friend’s addiction became so bad that he ended up losing his job, his family, and finally his life. I tried to help him as much as I could, but in the end there was nothing I could do.
In his case, it was like a giant squid attack. Each tentacle was another type of addiction. While your attention was on one, another snuck up behind. Each tentacle came up slowly and powerfully until it engulfed his life.
What made it insidious is that the addiction hid across several behaviors, so neither he nor others saw the monster until it was too late. He would have never admitted to being addicted.
Anytime the addiction wanted satisfaction, be it day or night, it demanded gratification. It wanted more of my friends time, attention, health and life. Eventually, the addictions weakened his heart and health.
Although he was a talented teacher, it became a struggle for him to arrive at class. When he was there, staying awake and focused was a struggle. He died a young, broken man.
Although I hadn’t thought about him in months, when a presenter at a conference said ‘Addiction is a solution to the pain associated with trauma and PTSD.’ Her comment shook me and suddenly I could make sense of what happened.
What this means for you is that affair trauma and possible PTSD put you at risk for addictions. They may be drug addictions, porn addictions, love addictions or sex addiction. Anything that gets you out of pain quickly has addiction potential.
The first step is to get help for the trauma and PTSD. Without that, you are at risk of finding a short-term solution that will turn into a lifelong problem. Be wary of anything that promises a quick fix.
Get help to heal the pain. It may be hard work, but it’s worth it.
I recall Dr. Robert Magee saying “The faster something gets you out of pain, the higher the addiction potential”.
As you face the pain and discomfort of affair recovery, you’re at risk for other problems. While you see the affair as your main problem, how you’re coping with it creates an even bigger problem.
Your mind sees the affair, while your body slips down a slippery slope into the darkness of addiction. While you focus on the lover, and find ways of reducing the pain, it sneaks in the back door.
This is where the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” comes in. You need healthy ways of dealing with your pain and trauma.
Drugs work, as do pills, booze and sex. The problem is that they each start you down a slippery slope that ends in addiction. Your pain is real. How you deal with it matters.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
