Uncomfortable truths are hard to hear. Even though they’re true, it doesn’t make them easier to accept.
One of those hard truths about affairs is that except for close friends and family there are very few people truly interested in the messy marriage situation you’re going through. Others may express a passing interest, but they’re trying to be nice.
What this means is that most of you will find yourself carrying the pain and heartache alone or within a small social circle. Carrying that heartache is a heavy burden. Carrying it alone makes it even heavier.
You may even be kindly ostracized by some people. I recall how friends kept their distance from me when an affair happened in my family. I realize they didn’t know what to say, but at the time, it left me hurting all alone in my pain. I began wondering if the reason for their distance was me.
The pain gets to the point where you feel like your bulging at the seams. All it takes is one or two things to trigger reactions from you. It could be a name, mention of a place, or song that sets you off.
I know what it’s like to be left alone when you’re hurting. I also know how it leaves you suspicious of others and terrified of intimacy. You want to stay safe and avoid risks, yet also want to connect with others. The challenge is to find the middle ground.
It’s not going to be easy, but it is possible. You’ll need to be honest with yourself and those you choose to connect with. It will require time, patience, and a lot of hard work, but eventually you’ll find your way back to living a full life.
Being in a bind like that leaves you feeling like your losing it. Let me reassure you that what you’re going through is part of the healing process. You’re human and are going through human reactions to betrayal from someone close to you.
Getting out of that bind requires some risk-taking. It requires effort moving from the safety of your emotional shell. It’s not going to be easy, but it is possible. You’ll need to be honest with yourself and those you choose to connect with. It will require time, patience, and a lot of hard work, but eventually, you’ll find your way back to living a full life.
The irony is that the person you need most is the one who hurt you most. Another hard truth about relationships is that when you’re wounded in a relationship, it requires healing in a relationship.
This is where the video “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions” comes in. It guides you in opening up the communication with your spouse. Although it’s where the hurt is, it’s also where the healing lies as well.
When you’re keeping it all inside, it’s easy losing your way. The video guides you back into connection.
Click and download it today so that you’ll have what you need to start healing your connection with each other.
If you need more intense personal help, email me for times and availability for consultations and counseling. Jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
