An article from a college newspaper posed an intriguing question. The question was “Has technology made cheating a social norm?” I’m not sure if technology has made cheating the norm, but it certainly has made infidelity easier.
Yesterday, I addressed how the technology of contraceptives has changed things. That is not the only way.
The question started me thinking about other ways technology has changed society and impacted relationships. I mentioned how the medical technology in contraceptives changes physical attraction yesterday.
Medical technology has also removed many of the health-related consequences and STD’s that kept many previous generations from acting out.
Besides medical technology, advances in digital technology have made ‘hooking up’ easier than in previous generations. The many specialized apps for smartphones make creating a ‘secret world’ easier.
There’s apps that hide other apps. Apps that create secret files, apps that self-destruct photos and files like something in Mission Impossible. It makes having a second secret lifestyle possible.
There’s something about a secret world that makes cheating more tolerable for many people. When cheaters can now compartmentalize cheating from their ‘real’ life.
The author of the article in the college newspaper sees this as a by-product of technology. I view the issue as a ‘human nature’ problem.
When you follow human nature, the assumption is made “no one is watching”. When you think no one is watching, you assume no one will be any wiser regarding your actions.
This is the same reason people do things when they are drunk they would not do sober. They assume because they are intoxicated, they can get away with more.
The fact is, technology has just made it easier for people to act on their impulses and have a secret life.
When your morality is based on who finds out instead of what’s right and wrong, then when opportunities for cheating appear, cheating happens.
At it’s the lowest level, human nature lives by the standard of ‘Morals only exist when they are on public display’. Morals are talked about rather than lived out.
I saw this in the survey I conducted on affairs with over 500 couples. Many cheaters reported espousing one set of values, yet acting out another. Opportunity dictated behavior rather than moral convictions.
Technology has enhanced the ability to sneak and hide, which if you have the willingness to cheat, makes affairs possible. That ability to hide gives cheater an opportunity to live out their secret lives. Technology has made sneaking around more accessible.
As part of human nature, potential cheaters only look at short-term gains rather than long-term effects. I see this as part of a maturity factor. It takes time and discipline to consider the long-term effects of your choices.
Technology without morality is dangerous. When technology is used within a moral framework, I don’t see it filled with destructive dangers.
Technology makes access to others and to destructive influences much easier. With continued advances in AI and sex robots, the dangers are increasing rather than decreasing.
If you’ve have mishandled technology regarding affairs, there’s hope. In the video “Help for the Cheater, starting the Road to Recovery” you can learn what initial steps are needed in turning your situation around.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
