Recently I was asked whether married women have affairs. The answer is yes, some do have affairs. The questioner also wanted to know “What percentage of married women have affairs?”. This is a difficult question to provide a concrete answer to. The studies that have been done have reported a wide range of answers. In looking at those studies, the number of people involved was not large enough for me to put much faith in any of their findings.
What I do know is that some do have affairs. The numbers do seem to be increasing, yet not as quickly as for the husbands. The number of married women who admit to issues related to sexual addictions is also increasing. The numbers concerning sexual addiction also seems to be cutting across value and belief systems as well. These are trends that concern me and should concern every couple around the world. Even though the values of your nation or religion may have serious penalties for infidelity, it does not mean that such behavior does not occur or that sexual addictions are not present.
In my work with couples, there are also the usual issues of “What do you consider an affair?” Although some people draw the line at coitus, others draw the line at sexual stimulation, and some draw the line at emotional involvement with people.
There is also the issue of swingers and open marriages. When a person does not believe an affair is wrong, should it be considered an “affair?” Some wives are under the dominion of their spouses to the degree that they do not have the freedom to discuss affairs of either their husband or themselves.
Although affairs do happen with married women, we do not know the full numbers of the phenomena. There are still many emotional issues associated with even discussing affairs and coming to an agreement about what constitutes and affair. What is clear is that ignoring the issue will not make it go away. If you suspect an affair or know of one, there is help. The Affair Recovery System will provide you with information and direction concerning how to deal with the situation. You may also want to call a marriage counselor to address the issue. If there are none available in your area or none you feel comfortable with consider telephone counseling as an option to address the issues present in your marriage. Married women do have affairs and you can take steps to help the situation.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
