During a workshop I was participating in, one of the attendees asked a question that continues resonating with me. She asked, “Which comes first, honesty or intimacy?”
She was going through recovery from an affair and was then facing that question. She was torn between jumping back into closeness with her husband and taking steps regarding honesty. She wanted closeness to him but knew he wasn’t being fully honest. This put her in a dilemma.
Being torn between those extremes is painful. Each seems so far away so you stay torn between them or try finding a way of incorporating a little of each.
The problem with compromising with incorporating a little of each is that you end up losing out on achieving either one to their full potential. You need each, yet can you achieve them both at the same time?
You want and need closeness to your spouse. The longer the two of you are separated from each other, the more you need each other. It’s not just physically needing them, your minds need interaction with each other.
You also need honesty. It’s hard trusting someone who’s not honest with you. You’ve got to be able to believe what they’re telling you. Venturing into the unknown brings fears with it.
So where do you start? Which direction do you go toward?
In my latest video, “Rekindling Closeness and Bringing Back Intimacy” I answer this question and other concerns that arise as the two of you work at growing closer to each other again.
In the video, I share with you formulas for bringing the two of you together and the issues that arise as you take those steps. Click and download your copy of the video today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
