When in the midst of an affair, those involved often excuse their behavior. They use any report, claim, suggestion or advice they find to support their actions. During this time, they play up their happiness, even going so far as to say they have a right to be happy. If they were honest, it would be they are determined to have sex with whomever they please. They often idealize the relationship, and at the same time demonize their present marriage. Somehow they believe if they make their present marriage look bad, it will somehow make the affair acceptable.
If you ask them, they will tell you that yes, an affair is a good thing. If you ask the spouse or the children, they will often tell you otherwise. Affairs have long tails. The impact of the decision to have an affair often stretches across years, decades and generations. The mention of an affair besmirches the reputation. The rejection and betrayal involved often shape how that generation is viewed and evaluated. In the future, they will not say, He/She deserved some happiness, or that they made the right decision. No, their reputation will be stained. Those involved with affairs rarely consider the future and the long term impact of their choices. The only choice that often matters to them are “Who they are with tonight?”.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
