A while back, I wrote a post on weasel words and affairs. From some of the responses I’ve seen lately, it’s time for a follow-up post on weasel words.
Let me start by pointing out that weasel words are designed for hiding the truth. It is akin to your spouse giving you fake news in your own home.
With weasel words, they are designed so that you hear what you want to hear. How this happens is that your emotions want to hear it so bad, that you read into what they say the message you’re craving.
The classic example of a weasel word is “maybe.” As in, “maybe I’ll do it.” This could mean anything from “yes, I will definitely do it” to “no, I have no intention of doing it and am just trying to placate you.”
It’s as if your own imagination is working against you. The weaseling person uses words that have meanings that can be taken several ways.
Using things like non-denial denials and leaving their answers open to interpretation, the stage is set. In talking with them, you make assumptions about what they’re saying and what it means.
One way of moving past that is by asking them the simple question ‘What do you mean by that?’
The first few times you do this, they’ll be surprised. The question presses them for clear communication. They may initially resist it since it starts holding them accountable.
But if you persist, they’ll eventually get the hang of it and give you clear answers.
Cutting through the weasel words is essential in moving past the affair. Your marriage depends on being able to trust what they tell you. When you can’t trust what they say, any security in the relationship is out the window.
A while back, I wrote a post on weasel words and affairs. From some of the responses I’ve seen lately, it’s time for a follow-up post on weasel words.
Let me start by pointing out that weasel words are designed for hiding the truth. It is akin to your spouse giving you fake news in your own home.
With weasel words, they are designed so that you hear what you want to hear. How this happens is that your emotions want to hear it so bad, that you read into what they say the message you’re craving.
The classic example of a weasel word is “maybe.” As in, “maybe I’ll do it.” This could mean anything from “yes, I will definitely do it” to “no, I have no intention of doing it and am just trying to placate you.”
It’s as if your own imagination is working against you. The weaseling person uses words that have meanings that can be taken several ways.
Using things like non-denial denials and leaving their answers open to interpretation, the stage is set. In talking with them, you make assumptions about what they’re saying and what it means.
One way of moving past that is by asking them the simple question ‘What do you mean by that?’
The first few times you do this, they’ll be surprised. The question presses them for clear communication. They may initially resist it since it starts holding them accountable.
But if you persist, they’ll eventually get the hang of it and give you clear answers.
Cutting through the weasel words is essential in moving past the affair. Your marriage depends on being able to trust what they tell you. When you can’t trust what they say, any security in the relationship is out the window.
Clear communication is foundational for trust in your marriage relationship. It takes work in holding each other accountable and establishing clarity in your communication.
If your marriage relationship is filled with weaseling and weasel words, you can bet that things are being hidden. Those hidden dangers weaken your marriage.
The video, “How Can I Trust You Again?” guides you in moving past the weaseling going on in your marriage.
Click and download the video so that you can start transforming your marriage today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
