Affairs are events filled with tragedies. Everyone touched by the affairs experiences loss. You experience loss, the cheater loses out and your children lose out.
Those losses leave scars on the lives it touches. There are scars from the loss itself. In addition to those scars are self-inflicted ones.
The self-inflicted scars are the damaging messages used in the aftermath of the affair. In some cases, the self-inflicted scars are actual physical cuttings. Either way, the damage is real.
Part of the self-inflicted scars are the messages victims tell themselves about how they are unwanted or unlovable based on the affair. You torture yourself with questions about “Why wasn’t I enough?” or “Am I sexy enough?”
Those messages amount to you beating yourself up based on the cheater making bad choices.
They made a bad choice with the affair. The affair doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable, undesirable, or unworthy of love.
Your rush to judgment about your worth and value is a lie you are telling yourself and believing. As part of affair recovery, it’s essential that you reject those lies and distortions of the truth.
It’s not helping yourself to believe the lies. At those times you want someone or something to blame. That’s when you must take a step back and remind yourself of what matters. Affair recovery is all about getting past the wreckage to some place better.
It’s essential that you don’t beat yourself up further with stories of unworthiness or unlovability. It won’t help you heal, but only add more scars to your heart.
Blaming yourself gives you a way of venting your frustrations, but it’s based on a lie. You don’t want others lying to you so you shouldn’t do it to yourself.
Those self-inflicted wounds aren’t doing anyone any good. Punishing yourself isn’t going to get your marriage back. It also isn’t going to make you feel better about yourself.
‘Telling yourself the truth’ is what will help rather than believing the lies told to you by the cheater or yourself.
In the video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”, I share with you ways of taking care of yourself along with the importance of telling yourself the truth.
What has believing the lies gotten you? Is your life better with lies?
If the lies haven’t improved things, then now is the time to start telling yourself the truth as in “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” and apply the material inside.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
