Although Halloween is typically the time of year associated with ghosts, there are times when I wonder if summer would be more appropriate, especially for divorced families.
The reason I say that is that many parents end up ghosting their children during the summer. There are promises and reassurances of them being there for them, yet when that time comes, they aren’t there. This leaves the children feeling forgotten, abandoned, and confused.
It can be extremely difficult for divorced parents to maintain contact with each other during the summer months when their kids are out of school and they don’t have as much access to them. The absence of communication between parents can cause a lot of pain and distress for the children involved.
Ghosting brings disappointment. Even when the reasons are legitimate, the letdown remains. You expected them. Your children expected them. Those disappointed expectations are painful.
I can see why the term ghosting is an apt description since the feelings hang around like a haunting. You thought they would be there and that didn’t happen.
Occasional disappointments happen. It’s when they happen repeatedly that feelings of abandonment start taking over. You start feeling like you have no value or worth to them.
With abandonment comes damaged trust. You want to trust them, yet each time they don’t come through you’re reminded that they can’t be trusted. It hurts to trust them.
The pain of broken promises makes it extremely painful to trust. Even when they do things to make up for what happened, the pain of the broken promise remains and becomes an obstacle in the relationship.
That obstacle is real. Even when it’s ignored or not talked about, it’s real. It’s real and it impacts the relationship even when it’s not talked about.
This is where forgiveness comes in. Trusting them isn’t safe. It’s also hard to trust them when that obstacle keeps the two of you from getting close.
In the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks”, I share with you a proven way of using forgiveness in such situations. It’s important that forgiveness happens before trying to rebuild the relationship or even think about trusting them again.
Ghosting and the broken promises it brings damages relationships in major ways. That damage needs attention, whether it be your spouse, your parents or your children.
Click and download your copy today.
Removing that obstacle will start opening up new options.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
