Enabling, just like any other habit, can be changed. Don’t let your past mistakes dictate your future, whether they are mistakes in your behavior or your thinking. Even if you allowed the cheating to happen, there is still hope for a better tomorrow. The cheater may have tried to shift the blame onto you, but even their tendencies to blame can be transformed. In other words, people can change. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
To overcome the aftermath of an affair, you need to address the harmful habits in your communication, treatment of each other, and problem-solving. You need changes in thinking and behaviors. Without making these changes, there is a risk of returning to negative patterns from before.
When you do nothing, you risk returning to your default patterns. The risk of returning to default patterns is correlated with the amount of change done. If you only change 60%, you still have a 40% chance of returning to default patterns.
It’s never easy to confront our own flaws, especially when they’re pointed out by someone else. But in order for true growth to happen, we must be willing to face our imperfections head on rather than attack those who pointed out your flaws. It’s not just a matter of facing them head on, you’ll need to be grateful to those who point out your flaws.
When you’re unsure of what changes to make, it’s common to rely on guesswork. However, this leads to a tumultuous and uncertain journey filled with trial and error. Remember, both you and your spouse are experiencing emotional turmoil, making it even more crucial to approach major changes with caution.
Despite the challenges, change is possible and necessary for healing after an affair. While I can’t make those changes for you, I can guide you towards the areas that require attention and provide strategies for transforming your interactions.
Take the first step towards change by clicking and downloading your copy of the “Affair Recovery Workshop” today. By recognizing the potential for transformation, you can regain hope and work towards a healthier future.
Ready for a fresh start,
Jeff
