When you are hit with the tragic news of your spouse cheating on you or some new information about it do you react or think? This is a crazy making time when your emotions say one thing, you mind says another and your gut says something totally different. It is no wonder that you feel torn with so many parts of you leaning in so many different directions. It could be that one of the most powerful questions you ask yourself is “What does it mean?” each new piece of information is another data point. Although each revelation is troubling, they really do not make much sense until you connect the dots and have meaning or context. One of my professors once said, ‘Data is meaningless until it is interpreted’. Although such logic is seldom applied to affairs, when it is applied, it helps. You have to interpret the data and in order to do that, you must have context and a pattern to things. Connecting the dots and finding the context takes work. It is much easier just to react, scream or throw a tantrum. The reality is that screaming and throwing a tantrum will only make you feel more out of control, show your immaturity and not solve the problem. Thinking through “What does it mean?” takes longer, but often leads to better solutions. Your heart and head can mislead you as they have done in the past. Rather than let them guide you through the crisis, find out what the news means and connect the dots with what really exists rather than making wild assumptions based on your own fantasies.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
