There are many lessons I realized and that you can learn from the “Red Light” District of Amsterdam. I already discussed one of those lessons in a previous post regarding the placement of the women and the attractiveness/attention grabbing associated with it.
Another realization is their use of red lights. When you see the windows with the red lights glowing, creating a ‘frame’, you know that you are in the “Red Light” District.
The red stands out, grabbing the attention of passers by. It is not by accident that stop signs and stop lights are red. Red gets you noticed. These girls want to get noticed. They want your attention.
The red lights are not just a simple lantern. The girls are in store front windows with red lights forming a frame around them. When the lights go on, the girls are available and on display. Like window shopping, you can look, but it’ll cost you to touch the merchandise.
A huge irony is that they only want a particular kind of attention. They don’t like you taking pictures of them. They instead want you to stand and gawk at them. The wanting of attention, yet not wanting their photos taken sends a double-message.
When there is a double-message, such as the selective attention seeking, you know you are being played. They want attention, yet on their terms.
They want to stand out and display themselves to the public on the street, but all hell breaks loose if you make them too exposed to the public.
Lovers and sometimes cheaters want attention as well. They often do things attracting the attention of their target audience.
Like the prostitutes, they want attention, yet only want certain kinds of attention. They want people to notice them, but not tell their spouses, co-workers or others about what they are doing.
Once again, when you are being presented with selective attention games, you are being played. They want attention, yet only on their terms.
They may send pictures, but only on their terms, they send texts, yet want them read only on their terms. Oddly enough, when you expose their pictures or texts, they will say that you are ‘invading their privacy’. They somehow forget that they invaded the privacy of your marriage and home.
These mixed messages are confusing. In these situations, you aren’t sure who to believe or what to believe. The mixed messages mangle and twist communication.
In the mixed-up world of double messages, one of the casualties is trust. If you find that the trust in your marriage has been damaged, find out what you can do to repair it. The video “How Can I Trust You Again?” addresses trust and ways you can start rebuilding it in your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
