Another lesson about adultery from the ‘Red Light’ district of Amsterdam is that of perception. The red lights used change your perceptions.
Although the red grabs your attention, it also makes it difficult to focus. Your eyes are not able to focus clearly on objects under red light rather than the full spectrum of light. You see the girl, but can’t make out the details.
Since your eyes have specialized cells that are activated by red light, objects under red light are placed in the express lane to your brain. For the women, the faster their image gets into your brain, the less likely it is that you’ll think. The women in the red light district want reactions rather than thinking.
The red lighting also hides many of their less attractive features. Since the unattractive qualities are not seen at first, they are often dismissed. By the time the ‘John’ sees the girl under natural light, they are already aroused and don’t care about any unattractive aspects.
Some of the girls play up the use of red lights, wearing clothing that stand out against that background. It is about marketing and getting the attention of their targets.
In many ways, cheaters live in a ‘red light’ world, where their perception is often distorted. They only see what they want to see.
They only look at their surroundings in the lighting associated with an affair.
They look at each person they meet and think of them only in terms of sex objects and what an affair with them would be like. They play out the fantasies in their mind of what would happen if…
The cheaters are driven by what grabs their attention. If you notice the ads for ‘casual’ dating, you will notice that the people are attractive, and wear skimpy, colorful clothing (to attract attention). The women are positioned for easy sexual access.
These ads are designed to get cheaters to react. They want them to take fast action, not to think through what they are doing.
The ads direct focus toward emotion rather than reason. They play on unfulfilled emotions and gratification of impulses. They promise to deliver a good time with attractive people without mentioning the consequences.
The girls in Amsterdam also promise to deliver a good time, with no mention of consequences or how it’ll impact your marriage. Some of the girls even offer the services of threesomes to accommodate both spouses.
The emphasis is on immediate gratification of the senses and body.
Cheaters live in a world of sensual gratification. They want immediate gratification.
They don’t want to think (outside of plotting and planning) or examine themselves in the full light of day. For any thinking or serious examination means that they will not be able to act on their impulses. Thinking means evaluating and considering consequences.
The streets of Amsterdam offer many insights into the world of seduction and cheating. It is best to learn such lessons from the lives of others rather than have it happen to your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
PS-if your marriage has been impacted by an affair, there’s hope. The download, of the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ provides instruction in recovering from an affair.
Rather than stumbling through what to do, you can know what topics to bring up, how to do it and ways of getting results. Your marriage can survive the affair.
3 Responses
An interesting insight to the lighting aspect….note …many bars and lounges are decorated with the red and black color scheme …lighting is usually low. When mixed with music pulsating in the backdrop often at ear splitting decibels added to the intoxication potential of alcohol and now drugs in many parts of the country as laws are being formed to allow such things….the potential for destruction without any further destructive events taking place is huge.
I appreciated the info on the way the eyes are designed and have components that function to be more sensitive to certain light-wave lengths ….interesting indeed the effects upon a carnal mind unbound by the moral benefits of the warnings from God’s Word as to how to become aware of one’s own fallen nature vulnerabilities.
Zaza,
Lighting and the environment do influence behavior. It is not by chance that red or dim lights are chosen. There is an old country song by Mickey Gilley entitled, “The Girls All Get Prettier Near Closing Time” that illustrates the same red/dim lighting influence on perception. Another factor that I did not get into, but is important as well is ‘the expectation of the cheater’. Their expectation operates like a form of tunnel vision that limits what they can see and what they are willing to see. They literally become blind to some parts of their environment, when they are in that mode.
I just thought of another aspect in that those who cheat are not ‘suddenly” taken up by some woman …there is a form of ‘preparation’ in anticipation of acting out. So much of what is ” in your face’ lures through magazines, friends even from childhood as the culture has taken a swan dive into the cesspools of various sensual media clips embedded in ‘regular’ programs….within the storyline seemingly ‘random’ or in commercials …any time of day it seems now …innuendo cleverly provides the ‘pot the frog stews in’ mentally…..over time when a marriage does not supply enough ‘excitement’ …as IF that was it’s sole purpose ! [media would have us think so] then the mind of a person who does not fill his mind with love for GOD and the WORD which is our shield and sword will start to not just be open for cheating but to seek it out.
Signals are set up among those who are on the hunt,,,,and they are not all that ‘subtle ‘ to those who are seeking …soon they can tell who among those around them are ‘game’ for such a thing.
When the hunter has ‘choices’ due to their appearance and high profile demonstration of powerful position or money ….then the stakes are higher and the “rates’ are too….The better the exterior ‘assets ‘ of an available
co cheater the better the selection of superficial ‘benefits’ ….Looks, toys, access to fun activities and events…all become part of the ‘play’
Responsibilities of home and family take on and even duller appearance to the cheater …until , deeply involved in the fantasy the value of anything other than what is illicit loses all appeal.
The Hollywood ‘junk food’ portraying the life of sin as ‘adventurous ‘ and ‘exciting’ and ‘glamorous’ ..especially when those who are performers are set up as role models …well you know the outcome.
Sadly may children , younger and younger have been not just ‘exposed’ to such images and ideas but actually taught to look up to them …generations now have this kind of ‘influence’ unbound …sad …and dangerous.
The thought occurred to me that for a time in our recent history the man was lied to that his only part in being a family man was to bring home the bacon ….boys were raise without being introduced to manhood by men. …Then once that kind of ‘teaching’ or lack of ….brought forth men who were no more than spoiled immature young men …feeling entitled….the idea was firmly entrenched that there were two kinds of women …and all the work of family life was for the one kind …and the play was open only for men ..sowing wild oats was all but foisted and expected of young men.I believe very much a part of a larger ‘plan’ of the enemy of God to destroy mankind …not just men but women and children by distorting the understanding of what manhood is and thus damaging women and then children.
Women began to buy the lie that they needed MORE than being wives and mothers at home …that without contributing to the world in work outside the home they were little more than ‘prostituting’ themselves as slaves to men ….THIS was an insideous plan to gain a two income TAX opportunity and gain control over the training of the youth of the nation…We see how successful this has been
NOW we see men being portrayed as some kind of ‘hero’ but not in the godly way intended for a father to be in relationship with a child ….NOW it is a father who we see everywhere …’doing’ childcare ….or being a ‘house husband’ ….we applaud the man who is a single father …involved with a child they had in a marriage they destroyed …ran from responsibilities of husband to take up the role of ‘father ‘ but not according to the way GOD designed that relationship to be effected by the man’s FIRST human relationship to be with HIS WIFE …ONE WIFE …for LIFE.
We also see the applauding of homosexual ‘parenting’ …all of which grows yet another generation with NO IDEA how men and women are to function as GOD would have taught them in order to bring forth a ‘godly seed’ ….
Leaving behind the ORDER of GOD …our society and the world is fast descending into the nightmare from which only those who come to Jesus Christ and repent of the dark understanding that this world has forced to be the ‘new normal’ …God help us!
The