Uncomfortable truths are hard to hear. Even though they’re true, it doesn’t make them easier to accept. One of those hard truths about affairs is that except for close friends and family, there are very few people truly interested in the messy marriage situation you’re going through. Others may express a passing interest, but they’re trying to be nice.
This can be a difficult realization to come to terms with, especially when you’re going through such a challenging and emotionally charged experience. But it’s important to understand that people have their own lives and problems they’re dealing with, and they may not have the capacity or desire to fully engage in your situation.
What this means is that most of you will find yourself carrying the pain and heartache alone or within a small social circle. Carrying that heartache is a heavy burden. Carrying it alone makes it even heavier. You may even be kindly ostracized by some people. I recall how friends kept their distance from me when an affair happened in my family. I realize they didn’t know what to say, but at the time, it left me hurting all alone in my pain. I began wondering if the reason for their distance was me.
The pain gets to the point where you feel like you are bulging at the seams. All it takes is one or two things to trigger reactions from you. It could be a name, mention of a place or song that sets you off.
I know what it’s like being left alone when you’re hurting. I also know how it leaves you suspicious of others and terrified of intimacy. You want to stay safe and avoid risks, yet also want to connect with others.
Being in a bind like that leaves you feeling like you’re losing it. Let me reassure you that what you’re going through is part of the healing process. You’re human and are going through human reactions to betrayal from someone close to you.
Getting out of that bind requires some risk-taking. It requires effort to move from the safety of your emotional shell.
The irony is that the person you need most is the one who hurt you most. Another hard truth about relationships is that when you’re wounded in a relationship, it requires healing in the relationship. This means facing the pain and working through it together with your partner.
This can be a daunting task, especially if there is a lack of trust and communication in the relationship. But it’s important to remember that healing is a process and it takes time. It also requires vulnerability from both parties and a willingness to understand each other’s perspective.
This is where you must download the video “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions“. It guides you in opening up the communication with your spouse. Although it’s where the hurt is, it’s also where the healing lies as well. When you’re keeping it all inside, it’s easy to lose your way. The video guides you back into connection.
Click and download it today so that you’ll have what you need to start healing your connection with each other.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
