Category: Waking up and confronting the cheater
Making False Assumptions
When I toured the Mark Twain home in Connecticut, I learned things about him that I had been unaware of. Although he was entertaining and often quoted, some of
Hiding evidence of the Affair
Today I found myself wanting to wad up and throw away some of my emails like I used to do to old school papers. There’s something about destroying the
The dance of staggered disclosure
A few years ago, my wife and I took salsa dance lessons. Each week we drove to the other side of Austin for our weekly lessons. Each week our
Two Bad habits of cheating spouses
In working with couples struggling through affairs, I’ve learned lessons about what works along with what makes things worse. One of the bad habits I continue seeing is that
The mistake of enabling
Yesterday I touched on self-inflicted wounds. It occurred to me afterward that there are more ways of wounding yourself than I addressed. One of the ways you wound yourself
Taking the stupid road
When it comes to affairs, have you ever heard your spouse say ‘How could I be so stupid?’ By labeling the decision to have an affair or yield to
Fighting Fire with Fire
In the 40+ years I’ve worked with couples, I’ve witnessed many couples fight. I never liked having a front-row seat to them. I still cringe whenever it happens. I’ve
Doing the right thing by whom
When it comes to marriage relationships and affairs, when you tell your spouse to ‘do the right thing’, it may not be what you think it is. In previous
Forcing information out of your spouse
One of my vices is watching television shows about the police. One of the events you can count on in the program is questioning and interrogation. As a counselor,
The most important three hours in Affair Recovery
Do you play chess? If not, you’re missing out on some important life lessons. One is that the opening moves are the most important of the game. What you
