Category: Waking up and confronting the cheater
Forcing information out of your spouse
One of my vices is watching television shows about the police. One of the events you can count on in the program is questioning and interrogation. As a counselor,
The most important three hours in Affair Recovery
Do you play chess? If not, you’re missing out on some important life lessons. One is that the opening moves are the most important of the game. What you
The deception of “It’s who I am”
There are times I feel the need to speak out and warn people. This is especially true when it comes to affairs and the propaganda surrounding them. It would
When your spouse’s anger is a good thing
In my readings, there are times I come across quotes that express truths in very succinct ways. Although I wish I’d originally come up with them, the author found
Changing the Cheater with Information
One of the debates in the recovery community concerns whether insight will change the cheater. Will some new knowledge convince the cheater to change? Since many of the resources
“What did you do?”
A question proclaimed by parents of toddlers when they discover their child doing something they ought not to is “What did you do?” or “What are you doing?” Typically,
What do you call the cheater?
One of the lessons I’m reminded of from the ‘woke’ crowd is the importance of language. The words you use determine how you think. The words can ‘normalize’ things,
Affairs and Ultimatums
One of the trickiest areas to navigate in relationships is that of ultimatums. Handling ultimatums poses challenges for the one on the giving end and the one on the
How long does the Cheater charade go on?
A reader recently struggling with her spouse’s infidelity wrote to me. She shared how her spouse had multiple addictions, several affairs along narcissistic tendencies. She was obviously worn out
Winning the Affair arguments
If you ever pick up one of my books in my library, they’re filled with notes and underlined passages. Over the years, I’ve developed a system of stars, exclamation
