Have you ever considered the connection between relationships and an old sofa? Driving down many back roads in the country and you will encounter an old sofa. They are especially prolific around college communities around the end of the semester. The old sofas are found in dumpsters, in fields and astride driveways. Those old sofas come in a wide variety of colors and style, yet they share a common story.
Some of the old sofas started as high dollar items before being tossed, while other were abused from the moment they were purchased. Unless you live in a museum piece of a home, eventually, you will have an old sofa encounter. When you face an old sofa, or yours experiences wear and tear, how will you deal with it?
One of my sons makes a point of scarfing up old sofas. The sofas are transported in the backs of trucks to an open field near Somerville, Texas. There, the sofas will experience a grand finale as seating for the annual Chilifest music concert, after which they are destroyed.
Old sofas are also popular with some dog breeds as well.
This morning I began viewing sofas from a different perspective. In listening to a podcast, one of the participants described how some people treat others “like an old sofa”. At that point, the lights went off and I thought “Wow!…That is a perfect description of what some spouses feel in response to being cheated on.” They give their spouse the best years of their lives and then, like an old sofa are tossed out when they are worn and no longer of any use.
I recently disposed of two moldy old sofas as the city dump. The incident left me recalling my reasons for doing so and thinking behind it. I suddenly saw the similarities between my logic and those of many cheaters. With some cheater their marriage relationship is viewed in the same light and with the same contempt as an old sofa. What a novel idea..treating your spouse like an old sofa!
Its worn in places and no longer smells fresh. The old sofa carries scars of use and some abuse. Some are dated and no longer in style.
I even recalled one episode when my friends and I saw how many people we could fit onto a single sofa for a photo in the days before selfies. We ended up breaking the couch from the combined weight. It occurred that there are relationships which break down under the weight of heavy burdens.
That insight made me realize that for every sofa on the side of the road or abandoned in some field, they are reminders of relationships where someone was tossed aside. In some cases, for a newer model, in some cases, the cheater casts them aside for something different and in some cases, they just didn’t love them anymore.
Rather than toss your marriage like an old sofa, you can make changes. There are improvement you can put in place. Your relationship can be changed.
Best Regards,
Jeff
3 Responses
Clever analogy Jeff
On that note when we first married I made do with whatever we were blessed to sit on….which included a chair taken from the side of the road!.it was a huge wingback….sort of thought it was a man sized chair
We cleaned it up and it sufficed when we didn’t have the income my husband was eventually able to have
Our sofa was from his….wait for it…college FRATERNITY….most people shudder when they hear that..no one wants to think of its history
We were content with the Orange crate that served as a lamp stand…and the trusty cinder block book shelve and card table dining table
Life was good
As his income increased as the years went by I still wanted to curb the urge to acquire and the possibility of being coveting….
It was many years before we bought anything even after buying our house…in my mind we had what was needed and if anything else was to become a part of our home it was only as my husband was comfortable with the purchase
I told him early on that I did not want our things or even a home to be over the budget he was knowledgeable of so that he worked to death…I was concerned that he would spend time with us and nothing was worth putting purchases above our relationship
As he prospered we had to have a home in keeping with his work …of course I enjoyed the upgrades but still didn’t want to sacrifice our family life to have those things ….I did not want to undermine his judgement either…he handled the finances and he was good at it…but I tried to nicely engage him and told him missed his company and being with is
He was not interested as by that time he had created his double life…he was unenthusiastic to do things with me and even the children got a stingy and begrudging type of daddy
He did make some big ticket purchase and had me do a number of remodels and then bought some high end furnishings..the kind you pass along to yourj kids one day
But what it seems to have resulted in was him feeling he was being “noble”..”protecting me” from being hurt to know what he was up to
No he was not noble but a coward because he refused to open up and discuss his issues
He took offense but pouted and would not disclose or admit to any offense ….he continues to do so as he has fled all responsibility for his actions ….and goes on to engage with another clueless woman
These types of people have a sense which can sniff out vulnerable women….I caution women in this day and time many of what used to seem like safe places to meet someone have become target “pools” for predators looking for women who are not aware of unprotected ….even and maybe especially in many churches
Just like children’s programming is one of the most useful delivery systems for endoctrnation
The more “innocent” it looks the more caution is called for
To really get the eyeglasses on the reading of the whole counsel of scripture is definitely a need ….some may mock but every useful truth in any counseling has to be based upon a truth that came from the Lord..untwisted…undiluted
Zaza,
Thank you for sharing. Many times as couples we get caught up in materialism rather than gratitude for what we have. It is with great fondness I recall some of the early furnishings my wife and I had. The hand me downs, etc. What we had was ours to enjoy rather than have to make payments to Finger’s (a Houston area furniture store now out of business) or some other furniture store.
You are also correct in how God’s word is dependable with all changes in status and surroundings.
More stuff more maintenance …..
In everything give thanks for this is the will of God concerning us!