Yesterday, I addressed some of the high risk situations for deployment affairs. A concern needing attention is “What can you do to reduce the risk of deployment affairs?”
Anytime you’re away from your spouse, there is a risk. You can take steps to lower that risk.
1. Stay in contact with your spouse. Write them or call them as often as you can. Communication and contact are the life blood of your marriage. Ignoring or disregarding communication is a sure way of inviting problems into your marriage.
2. Develop a healthy support system before you deploy. If you wait until their is a problem, it is too late. The time for a support system is before the crisis hits.
The best support systems are those that are located nearby. Friends, family and church members that can provide healthy encouragement is what you want.
You want them to support not replace.
Support systems become dysfunctional when they attempt meeting needs that only you are supposed to. If members of the support system try to replace you, then you need a new support system.
3. Pray. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Prayer maintains a portion of the bond between you and your spouse. Neglecting to pray weakens the bonds that you do have.
4. Discourage your spouse from indulging in alcohol or recreational drugs. They may claim that it helps with the pain, but an intoxicated body has a harder time saying “NO” than a sober body.
5. Avoid temptations yourself. Worrying about temptations your spouse faces while showing no avoidance to temptation on your part is a double-standard. You need to say “No” as well as your spouse. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
These strategies will not eliminate risks, but they will reduce them.
If an affair does happen, it doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage. The online ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘ provides a way of healing your marriage even when the two of you aren’t in the same place.
Being online, the two of you can work on your marriage at your own pace, even though your miles apart. You can know what to bring up, when to do it and ways of improving intimacy in your marriage.
Best Regards
Jeff
