Since the lifeblood of an affair is fantasy, there are many challenges to overcome in reaching ‘the truth’ . In seeking an answer for ‘the truth’, I have spent years studying and working with couples going through the crisis of an affair.
What I hope to do with this blog is to help the readers survive and overcome an affair. The intended audience is that of Christian couples, although the insights and truths provided would be helpful to anyone struggling with an affair situation.
One of the observations I have made is that statistics concerning affairs and their frequency must be viewed with caution. When surveys are taken by adult, glamor-oriented or pro-affair oriented publications, the results are likely biased.
Such publications often conduct surveys of their reading public, which often condone such behaviors. Some societies even condone affair behavior(http://uncivillitigator.blogspot.com/2005/02/french-and-infidelity.html.)
Bearing these things in mind, before you make a judgment about whether or not you are abnormal in your thinking, remember where the information is coming from.
It is also important to consider the old Latin saying “Cui Bono?” (Who Benefits?). Many of those parties that benefit from divorce or digging up dirt (private investigators) on your partner will provide information that often feeds into one’s fears. Dealing with an affair requires making decisions from a moral and courageous foundation, not one based on fear.
It is also important to realize that both partners are often not thinking clearly when in the midst of an affair. Whether or not tangible evidence exists, if there has been a disruption or violation of trust, there are problems that need attention. Oftentimes the emotional reality of the situation is suspected and known before the factual reality manifests itself.
As the blog develops over time, I will explore the many facets of affairs for both the adulterate and resolute spouse. I welcome your questions and suggestions.
Regards,
Jeff
One Response
I’m happy that your speaking about it so everyone else can know! Definitely will keep in mind. To tell you the truth, what I finally figured out is, you have to nurture the situation that first attracted you both and also prevent a ton of bad choices we all naturally make if you want to help fix your marriage