Fretting and worrying about matters often comes as standard equipment with affairs. There are two main questions with worry and fret. Those two concerns are 1) what makes worry and fret so bad and 2) what can you do about it? Today, my focus is on what makes worry and fret so bad. Fretting carries with it some problems. There are three main problems with affair. The first problem is that fretting messes up your priorities. When you fret, you often quit taking care of yourself, change what you are doing and misplace your efforts. The shift in priorities changes the direction you are going. The second main problem is that fretting takes away your peace of mind. You may not have had much peace of mind, but what you had was worth keeping. It is not by mistake that ‘disturbing the peace’ was a reason for arresting people. Disturbing or stealing away your peace is a cause for concern. With fretting, your peace of mind is taken from you, and it is not an easy thing to regain. The third problem with fretting is that it puts you in a mindset where you are either trying to review the past or preview the future rather than live in the present. It is important to ‘live in the moment’. When you are focused on re-living the past or predicting the future, you are unable to enjoy what time you do have.
Fret carries many problems with it. These problems shift and re-orient you in terms of priorities, time and emotional state of mind. You become a very different person than you were before. You are also not the person who the cheater married. When they tell you that, they are not lying. The fretting changes you. It changes the way you look at the world, the way you experience the world and the way you interpret what is going on around you.
Stopping the fretting is only a start. It is going to take more than that to regain who you were. You will also have to re-orient yourself, gain your center again, and enjoy living in the moment again.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
2 Responses
I was wondering what happened to my brain and my body chemistry for the first year after discovering that I had been betrayed. I had no appetite, literally didn’t care to eat, resulting in too much weight loss. Also started getting sick as my immune system was weakened. Why did the pain of betrayal lead me to self destruction?
Stormy,
You ask an excellent question in terms of “what happened to my brain and body chemistry after discovering the affair?” along with a description of many of the symptoms you experienced. I will address this in a post within the next few days. Many people like yourself go through similar experiences and wonder what is going on with their bodies?