In modern society you will find yourself bombarded with messages of ‘toleration’. There’s a time and place for toleration, but it’s not in your marriage. When it comes to marriage, there’s no room for toleration of infidelity.
That sounds harsh, yet when it comes to the sanctity of your home and your marriage, there no room for infidelity. The reason is that once a little infidelity gets it, it often brings more.
You may think that you’re tolerating drunken kisses and gropes to ‘save your marriage’, yet the reality is that when you do that, it opens the door to greater and more flagrant adulterous acts.
Marriage is a special relationship, with special rules. When you tinker with those rules, the security and stability of your marriage changes. When infidelity knocks at the door, there is no ‘safe’ amount.
Radiation may have safe amounts, but infidelity does not. In that way, infidelity is more akin to cancer, since there are no ‘safe’ levels. Once it gets in, the damage spreads and grows progressively worse.
Your spouse may tell you that their infidelity is just something that you have to ‘tolerate’ and put up with. They may act like it is part of the lifestyle or job that they have. That line of logic is merely a fancy way of them telling you that they want a ‘hall pass’ which means that you give them permission to cheat.
They want you to ‘tolerate’ their indiscretions. I often wish I could put a flashing neon sign in your face proclaiming “TOLERATE AT YOUR OWN RISK” or “DON’T DO IT!” in order to warn you of the danger ahead. Since infidelity undermines the stability and security of your marriage, allowing it to occur is dangerous.
Once it’s allowed, you’re living with an illusion of security, since the marriage is only in a steady state until you ‘dare’ to question the cheater on their behavior. At that point, you are locked into a position of having to keep your mouth shut and suffer in silence.
Best Regards,
Jeff
