I recently spent some time with a family member who shared with me his own personal struggles with the “Jonah Syndrome”. When his wife cheated on him, he found himself face-to-face with the Jonah Syndrome. Everywhere he went, whether to work or to relax there was a reminder of his wife.
At first, he just passed them off as co-incidence. The frequent reminders served as constant irritants. There is no place where he could find ‘peace of mind’ . Like the persistent, focused, determined outlaw, he felt like he was being chased by the reminders. He found himself living a life like a modern day Jonah. Instead of running away from God, he was running from reminders of his wife’s infidelity.
Even dogs hate having their nose rubbed into the errors of their ways. He was constantly reminded of what she did. The constant reminders eventually became overpowering. He, like Jonah, the decision was made to travel abroad. Somehow going across the pond to Europe was a way of escaping the constant reminders.
Although the real life Jonah experienced storms at sea, his journey was uneventful. Once in Europe, he enjoyed the respite. He was finally away from all the restaurants they ate at, all the places they took walks, and theaters they shared good times. Finally…a relief.
His relief was short-lived. On entering a recommended record store, he saw an album that sent a shock wave through his heart. There the record rack, the first album was one by his wife’s lover. Here, a thousand miles from home he is given a cold fish slap reminder of what he was running from and found himself face to face with the Jonah Syndrome.
So how will you deal with your own Jonah Syndrome? When you are surrounded with the constant reminders of your spouse, what will you do?
First, the reminders are just that…reminders. Although viewing them as ‘signs’ sounds romantic, when you are running from it, they are not so romantic. Movies like Serendipity feed into the romantic notions.
If anything, the reminders are part of what held the two of you together. Those memories knit the two of you together. When you are resisting the thought of you together, any reminder may bother you.
The meaning you attach to the reminders is what is key. When you see them as good things, it can be energizing. When you view the reminders as messages about your failures, such events can send you into a state of despair.
The shock of an affair often triggers emotions and memories that you want to avoid facing. Although you do not want to face them, your mind is focused on them. It is as if your mind locks on the specific topic and will not let go. If that describes the situation you struggle with, you will want to view the webinar on “Affair Trauma”. There is a way out, and it is not a problem to seek out some help in getting past it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
