You may want ‘unbridled passion’ in a relationship. Movies, television shows and music make it sound like something that’s both desirable and achievable. Even the toned down version of this sentiment in the form of ‘follow your bliss’ encourages you to seek out such ideas.
You may have even considered leaving your marriage in search of the illusive ‘unbridled passion’. Although people have left good marriages in search of it, have you considered where that search will take you and what such passion is really like?
Unbridled passion often means a total loss of control. The usual stops and limitations do not prevent feelings from coming out. When passions become unbridled, there’s a loss of control. One of the problems is that once this kind of power is unleashed, you can’t control it or direct it. The passion spreads to other areas, including self-control of anger, self-restraint in what’s said and the limits of decency.
My experience with this phenomena was an eye opener. Sandy was a young wife who left her husband in search of a relationship filled with unbridled passion. Once the passions were unleashed, the relationship took Sandy way beyond she ever intended. She often felt like she was caught up in a whirlpool of emotions, even though she was emotionally stuck. It was as if the only time she felt alive was when they were pushing the limits of passion.
In considering her situation, I remembered Marlin Lance reminding me that such passion always takes you deeper and further than you intended to go.
It definitely took her for the ride of her life. It was not just passion in the bedroom. The lack of restraint became escalating violence and drug use. With unrestrained passions, people don’t share love or their lives, they each try taking control. Control becomes the new substitute for love.
Things came to a head one night when the passions turned angry and guns came out. Shots rang out that night in Piney woods. Fortunately they were both terrible shots.
When the smoke cleared, the two missed each other. Like the snap of a stage magician, in that smoke filled aftermath, Sandy was startled awake by what happened, “How did things get so out of control?”
Her kids were out of control, her life was out of control and her passions were out of control.
Now awakened, she knew things had to change. This is not what she signed up for or intended. It took her several years to regain her self-control, which she hasn’t regretted since.
Unrestrained passion takes you places. It will take you to new worlds. What you’re not told is that in this new world, you’re a slave to your passion. You have to do what it tells you to do, no matter how it leaves you feeling. You also don’t wake up to better surroundings. Each day takes you to new extremes.
Before unrestrained passions call you away from your marriage, take steps to turn things around. With what you learn in the Affair Trauma Webinar, you can break out of the haze of unbridled passion, or the affair fog, depending on your circumstance. Many times the trauma keeps you frozen whether you are the betrayed or the cheater.
You can get free from the trauma and its effects.
It will start you on the path to a healthier marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
