If you’ve been reading the daily emails, you’d know that I’ve dealt with exit affairs in previous letters. It occurred to me that it’s been a while, so it would be good to cover that topic again.
As you know, just by its’ name, the exit affair is about leaving your marriage. It happens when the cheater uses the affair as part of their exit plan.
It occurred to me, that there are also exit affairs from your job or position. In these cases, the affair is used as a way out. The twist is that the cheater still wants their marriage.
The kinds of vocations that are vulnerable to these affairs are those where your reputation is ruined by an affair. This would include ministry, officer positions in the military, some business positions, teachers and healthcare workers.
You may wonder what would lead a person to commit vocational suicide? There are many motivations, it just so happens that with this kind of affair, you exit for moral grounds rather than lack of professional skills or some other mess-up.
There could also be some extreme burn-out issues, and the affair presents an easy way out. Rather than make the hard choices, they have the affair and have the choices made for them.
There are also cases where rumors are used in creating the impression of an affair in order to have someone fired. This is also a form of an exit affair, yet one where the cheater isn’t in control.
I’m not excusing exit affairs, my point is drawing attention that they are also used as ways out of jobs or positions or vocations. What doesn’t make sense to you may make perfect sense to someone whose feeling desperate.
In these cases, the exit affair is reputational suicide. It leaves the person stained and deemed inappropriate for the role they are in.
If you’re dealing with a situation like these and need a place to talk, consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There, you’ll find a listening ear among those who are struggling like you are.
Best Regards,
Jeff
