The other day, I addressed the topic of ‘creepers’ and the danger they pose to your marriage. Even long after you remove creepers from your life, they continue spreading their damage. One of the most destructive things they bring into your marriage is their poison.
When I think about ‘Creeper Poison’, I am reminded of the nightmarish struggle of the character , Dexter Cornell (played by Dennis Quaid) in the 1988 movie, DOA. In the movie, the main character is given a lethal poison. He struggles through the film in dealing with the questions about his poisoning. He wants to know who did it, and why they did it, while simultaneously struggling with the effects of the poison while being literally connected to a female character.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV6yEIhqgmU
Like Professor Dexter Cornell, you may be connected to your spouse, yet struggle with the nightmarish effects of the poison. Your mind obsesses on what was done and why it what done. It robs you of your joy and peace of mind. Even though you have your spouse back, you’re unable to enjoy being with them because of what happened.
You wrestle with images in your mind. Although you don’t have movies of the affair, the images in your head continue their endless loop with high-definition intensity. The movie in your head is more vivid than anything that a camcorder would have caught on tape.
Besides the constant movie loping through your head, the poison leaves whatever is left of your self-confidence wilted. At time you may struggle in forcing some back into yourself, but you find yourself feeling like whatever mojo or groove you had is shriveled up into a wrinkled, dried out fragment of what it was.
Even though you didn’t have the affair, the creeper’s poison has stained and permanently deformed the once-pleasant memories of your beautiful spouse. You may have never even met the creeper, yet their poison got into you.
The poison also has a way of controlling your focus. It takes the steering wheel of you mind from what you wanted it to be on and turns it in directions you never intended it to go. The poison forces you into the obsession lane, where horrid thoughts and fears continue looping through your head. When your mind is there, you can’t see any kind of future for you and your spouse together. It takes all your mental energy to just stay ‘on the road’.
When you’ve been poisoned by creepers, it changes you and your brain. Like a toxoplasmosis, the poison alters your thinking. That poison keeps you from enjoying pleasant memories from the past along with any hope for the future. It paralyzes you into a state of chronic discomfort, even when you are with the love of your life.
If you want ways of changing your thinking and your marriage, there is hope. The Affair Recovery Workshop is the antidote for toxins like the Creeper’s Poison.
Best Regards,
Jeff
6 Responses
Well it does poison what once was the joy of my life as a wife and even as mother .
I overcome by way of continuing to listen day and night to various topics I am interested in found in my Bible and then pursue in further study of the scriptures
What someone else does is not supposed to derail your life by the worlds way of thinking.
That comes from the self centered fleshly perspective that one doesn’t have to change when they marry
The lack of understanding what marriage is which was created and designed by God for purposes He defines and instructs in His Word
Disrespect for God and His Word has been around since Eden
But over the generations especially taught to trust man in secular humanism as incorporated in government school curriculums since the planners of turning to a world government system using humans who have been indoctrinated to follow there fleshly desires without any thought as to whether it is morally right or wrong has destroyed marriage ..family…civil government …..”every man does what is right in his own eyes ”
What a contrast to the instructions given to us in how to live out love in spirit and in truth
When my husband married he had been in the process of learning the things of God
He was a loving and kind person… but his upbringing and the culture of his education and then his career wore away any respect for moral boundaries and soon all of the godly truths he was learning were left behind
Immorality is easy and surrounds all in the cesspool of the world drifting and now avalanching into the pit of end times morass
Married but still “open ” to any thrill that crossed his radar …anything he could manage to get away with while still sustaining his posture as a great guy and family man
Too many are insisting they answer to no one and can manage their image and any kind of bad rep charges
Guilty as like members of theIr shared world view they arrogantly go on using and abusing the next trusting person or willing partner in the ways of the risky business of “glamorous ” infidelity
For me …ten years now from D day…..ongoing input of the Word of God either by reading or audio or just personal renewing of my mind on the things of God has been my only refuge from th ongoing reality of how my husband (still my husband though living his “life” like a runaway college jock ) continues to effect the broken life we all deal with
It reminds me of the way the truck that mowed down many in the crowd in Paris ….a swath of distraction just because they wanted to for their own dimented reasons for no profit yet they found a way to do so and so … no human was a match for a semi truck
My Lord will do all His will and I pray those so deceived to cheat will wake up before it’s too late for them
Meanwhile their pleasure is the pain of those they presume they have no responsibility for the consequences of their choices made selfishly
Zaza,
As usual, you have some wonderful insights. Yes, the selfishness of a few often does damage to those around them.
You also picked on many of the issues underlying that selfishness. The condoning of immorality and rejection of God’s word are certainly BIG problems. The whole issue of creepers is addressed in Scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 provides the foundation for understanding the Scriptural side of creepers.
As you are well aware, moral choices ALWAYS have consequences. Whether or not people accept responsibilities, they will have to face the fallout (or blowback) of their choices.
Regards,
Jeff
Don’t you think there is a reason evil in the movies is portrayed more disturbingly by a character who is evil with a look of delight and a smile on their face?
The smirk we see in those devoid of moral compass is probably the most powerful in how it conveys the heart of evil
Zaza,
Thank you for sharing your question. The look of delight is certainly disturbing. It sends a mixed message. In terms of my observations (which I will limit to affairs), It seems that there is a concerted effort to blur the lines between good and evil when it comes to affairs. Many of the movies present ‘affairs’ as an acceptable or understandable choice or convey it as ‘no big deal’.
When good and evil are left ambiguous, it confuses the issue. A great deal of evil is committed under the auspices of ‘love’. By saying too people “love” each other, the moral sting of the affair is lessened.
Good thoughts Jeff
One other thing is that often times people who “forgive” is just another form of denial
In this dispensation of Grace the believer is forgiven as his whole lifetime is hid in the act of Jesus Christ being our Saviour …paid in full having taken upon Himself our due judgment and as believers God has confirmed or impuned His righteousness upon us
Under the Jews program their was a conditional command in order to be forgiven they were told to forgive
As believers and members of the Body of Christ we are baptized into all that Jesus Christ is….some contrast found in Paul’s epistles
Having been forgiven we are able to forgive but there is no command to trust untrustworthy people in any realm of relationship
Determining who is trustworthy requires as you have pointed out …2 Tim 3:16…and 17…..and taking note of 2:15 to study and to rightly divide …learning TO WHOM the scripture of each dispensation is addressing
What a difference this makes to the reader of scripture indeed
We may learn from reading someone else’s mail but only hide bills and letters addressed to us become our responsibility or instructions …how exceptional our Lord is and perfect in every word
Zaza,
I like your insight, “Having been forgiven we are able to forgive but there is no command to trust untrustworthy people in any realm of relationship”. That is so true. You can forgive, yet that does not mean that you have to make yourself vulnerable to being hurt again or trusting again.
I like the way one old preacher I liked used to put it. “All Scripture is given to us, but not all scripture is addressed to us”. It has steaded me well.