Popular media often emphasizes how condom use is connected with safe sex. They portray the practice as something that ‘protects’ and keeps you safe.
The problem with this approach is that there is bleed over. Cheaters often take truth, twist it around and then use it in support of their profligacy. Yes, they even use condom campaigns.
They are told over and over that condom use is safe sex. Unfortunately, they start believing that mantra to the detriment of your marriage. They hear ‘safe sex’, and start connecting safe sex with affairs.
Most of the twisting occurs regarding the word ‘safe’.
They mistakenly assume that if a condom is used during an affair, they are safe. First, even medical experts and government agencies tell you that condom use is not 100% safe.
The assumption is made by the cheater that using a condom or protection will keep them ‘safe’. On hearing the word ‘safe’ the assumption is made that if they protect themselves from STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) that they are home free.
This is a dangerous assumption. As mentioned, condoms are not 100% against STD’s. There is always some risk. On hearing the term ‘safe sex’, they assume it’s risk-free. In their twisted mind, the word safe is connected with not getting caught and being consequence free.
Consequences always exists. Risks always exists.
First, there is the very real risk of heart attacks. Men who are unfaithful have a higher risk of heart attacks. Having an affair is taking a gamble with your health. Condoms don’t protect your heart from heart attacks.
The next dangerous risk is that of emotional connection between the cheater and the lover. Condoms do not protect their heart or the lover’s heart. Any affair exposes you to emotional bonding. That little piece of material may protect against some diseases, but it doesn’t protect your heart or your mind.
When using condoms, the cheater may not bring home STD’s, but they sure do bring home alienation of affection, lies, double-mindedness, and a cheating heart. No condom exists that protects you from those problems.
As a relationship expert, I can tell you that condoms aren’t effective at all when it comes to relationships. Condoms don’t protect your heart (emotionally or physically). Condoms don’t protect your soul. Condoms don’t protect your mind.
‘Safe sex’ is only a term used to promote social programs. When it comes to affairs, there’s NO such thing as safe sex.
An affair puts the cheater at risk in all these areas.
The cheater hears the word ‘safe’ and applies it to all areas of their life, thinking that they can have an affair and be safe from being found out. They made hide it for a while, but it is far from safe.
No condom, pill or medical device can protect them from the relationship issues.
‘Safe sex’, free lunches and free beer are all illusive. They promise things that can’t be delivered.
If your marriage is struggling with the effects of an affair, there’s hope. An affair does not have to mean the end of your marriage. We have resources designed for helping your marriage survive the affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff
5 Responses
Well…. this article is true in so many ways. What I experienced and seems from what I have read, the people who cheat, seldom use a condom. They are so self absorbed and special that they dont need such. My spouse not only bypassed the condom, she was on zero form of birth control. She is even in health care and well aware of these dangers! Can not explain this….
David,
It’s good hearing from you again. Your choice of words in “They are so self absorbed and special that they dont need such.” nails it. The “I’m special” mindset keeps them from seeing risks and dangers. Some think that they are smarter than average, while some cheaters are so determined to cheat, they don’t consider the danger. The lovers often take advantage of their ‘risk taking’ behavior and use it in trapping them.
Since it is driven by emotion and self-gratification, it is not logical or explainable by logic.
Again what drives this is a thought process that blocks all forms of critical thinking based upon truth and reality
My spouse has ongoing denial of the dangers of what he did and may likely still be involved in
The Bible advises wisdom coming from thinking rightly based upon truth
In our situation along with his turning from learning what might have kept him from all kinds of troubles for not just our marriage but our children and all of the others he chose to defile…..he had opportunity to learn to understand why walking by that wisdom was really the great idea God offered to whomsoever would be willing to learn
My husband’s pride and his vanity left him disarmed of any sense of caution…he knew it all and he was as your guest has stated some how “immune” to any cost….this also points to how little his wife and family meant to him
Every one he used has been exposed to a STD but he continues on
I pray for the Lord to work through any means to deal with him to bring about a change of attitude but so far he seems to believe being “sorrow” does not demand a change of behavior
Without loving and trusting God and His Word disaster follows …if not in this world certainly after one passes which at that time is too late
Zaza,
Thanks for sharing that. It’s tragic that so many have been infected with STD’s because a few people were determined to fulfill selfish gratification. It is another reminder that “For every action, there are consequences”. When I saw the story about super strains of gonorrhea which are getting beyond treatment I’m reminded that STD’s are a serious matter.
Sadly, there are some people who are so angry at God, that they will defy Him in any way imaginable, including all forms of sexual lasciviousness.
Romans 13:10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.