The source of power in affairs is the secrets. When the secrets are out in the open, the affair loses much of the power it once had over the person. One reason the secrets have so much power is that they are closely tied to shame and guilt. The guilt and shame associated with what they imagine the response to the affair will be is part of what powers up the secrets.
Another part of the power of secrets is the fantasy of getting away with something. There is an alluring fascination with cheating life and gaining access to ‘forbidden’ things. Between the excitement of the forbidden and the guilt/shame, affairs have most of the elements that create an emotional magnetism that some find hard to resist.
When the daily routine of many peoples lives become monotonous, the zap of excitement and energy an affair provides often looks like just the thing to add some zing to their lives. They get caught up in the sales pitch and do not consider the enormous price tag that goes with it. If they had considered the price tag, before the sales pitch, they would look at the issue differently.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
