No matter how much social scientists and psychologists talk about trust and its bases, you have first hand experience at how it works through your relationship with your spouse. If your spouse had an affair, then surely, no amount of scientific explanation could explain and heal the pain that you are feeling.
Your trust towards your spouse is built upon love and interdependence with your spouse. Your need to be loved and your need to feel important can only be given by another person—the person you love and trust deeply. Trust, however, is risky. There is always the possibility that the person you trust would break such trust. When this trust is frustrated, then you would feel immense pain and disappointment.
In response to such an affair, you need to sort out and settle your differences. When you know each other—your personalities, your characters, as well as your quirks, then perhaps, you can better arrive at a better understanding of how you can settle your love and your trust.
Trust is important in resolving conflicts between you and your spouse. Hence, you need to affirm your love and your trust so that you can easily talk about your differences and the lessons you have learned with the experience of going through an affair.
