The latest sexting episode of the public figure Anthony Weiner has made the headlines once again. This time, there are some unsettling tremors in reaction to that episode. Although I have posted on politicians and cheating before, this time, things are different.
This time, what’s unsettling is that therapists are wanting the AAMFT (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists) to take down a website addressing the issue of online infidelity. In a report by Tracy Clark-Flory, the therapists claim that the site alerting the public to the dangers of online infidelity are “it’s full of fabrications, inaccuracies, and bad supporting evidence that — given sizable AAMFT’s influence — misleads therapists, clients, and the general public about the danger of allegedly tech-fueled infidelity.”
The site notes that online infidelity is highly addictive, and that the cybersex threat will continue growing with expanding internet use. The website also points out that the cybersex (online infidelity) also impacts marital relationships.
“Online sexual behavior is proving to be highly addictive to some users and serious relationship problems are reported in almost all marriages in which one partner is cybersex addicted. Even if the user does not become addicted, problems can still exist between partners.”
One of those asking for the page to be taken down is therapist Jay Blevins, who claims:
For starters, he [Jay Blevins] says the concept of “online infidelity” is “a purely fabricated phrase that doesn’t represent a real diagnosis.” It’s not that he disbelieves that people use the internet to cheat, but rather that there is no need for the term “online infidelity,” just as there isn’t for “hotel infidelity” or “work trip infidelity.” Blevins explained, “The ability to be online doesn’t make people cheat,” he said. “People cheat because they choose to cheat.”
His complaints continue, citing the use of the term sexual addiction, which he claims is not a recognized diagnosis and he also has issue with the recommendation of using 12-step support groups in dealing with the issue.
To put it simply, there are some therapist who question whether sexual addictions exist. They also take issue with the term ‘online infidelity’ and using 12-Step groups.
In my experience, sexual addiction is real. The research on brain function, from places like Yale and Cambridge, makes it clear to me that the same parts of the brain involved in drug addiction are involved in sexual addiction. These same findings have been replicated elsewhere as well.
Arguing about terms is often a sign of turf battles, rather than based on science. The politically minded may argue about whether sexual addiction really exists. When I see the brain scans and deal with the issues in my office, I know what I see. When you see the signs in your relationships, you know what you see as well.
Best Regards,
Jeff
