Learning to live together in a marriage is a continuous process. Sometimes it’s easy, oftentimes it’s not. Yet, the complexity and difficulties multiply if an affair occurs in a marriage.
There’s a chicken and egg debate over whether marriage problems lead to an affair or the affair leads to marriage problems. Whatever caused an affair, there’s conflict and reaction afterwards.
If your marriage has been rocked recently by an affair, as a couple, you need to make some tough decisions and commitments in order to make things better. The two of you will be facing emotional challenges and difficulties on a daily basis.
Dealing with difficult situation as they occur is important. Although there may be temptations for avoiding or delaying them, it’s best to face them. This way, you can arrest a situation before it escalates into an even bigger issue.
You can also prevent the feeling of being trapped with each other and the accompanying hopelessness of such a situation. This reduces the build-up of resentment, which is a relationship killer.
When rebuilding your marriage after an affair, honesty is critical. Honesty is needed concerning your emotions, behaviors and thinking.
It helps when each of you accept responsibility in each of these areas rather than blame your spouse for what you felt, thought or did. This same honesty is needed in dealing with the different issues that you face.
Acknowledge the part you played in little mistakes when they occur so that they would not grow into something bigger. When you’re honest with each other, you’ll know where you stand in relation to each other and be better able to determine your worth to each other.
Not knowing where you stand or where your relationship is contributes to greater stress. Delaying adds to uncertainty.
This means you need honesty and promptness in dealing with conflicts and challenges.
Honesty is a foundational building block of trust between the two of you. As you strive to deal with each other honestly, it will become more natural and less awkward. The blaming with decrease and trust increase.
If you and your marriage need help after an affair, the support community at Restored Lifestyle gives you a place to talk and share in safety. Joining gives you access to the videos, ebooks and articles geared for helping heal your marriage and life.
Best Regards,
Jeff
