When adulterers are caught, they often give various reasons, excuses and explanations for their behaviors. One of the explanations is that “I was born this way” or “it’s in my genes”. The spouse may sarcastically quip about “Yeah, its in your jeans”. The question arises “what are the facts?”. Can a person be born to have affairs?
Like many types of addictive behaviors, such patterns often occur with regularity in some families. Persons born in such families will have a greater risk for such behavior, although it does not mean that they will have an affair or that their spouse will have an affair. The greater risk means that the possibility of having an affair is higher than would occur in other families. If you are from one of those families or married someone from one of them, you may want to take steps to reduce the possiblity of such behaviors occurring.
Ignoring the increased risk is dangerous. Ignoring such a significant risk is akin to ignoring the symptoms of a major medical disorder and thinking “it will pass”. When dealing with affairs, the risk does not just pass. Giving it time will not make it go away. You will need to take active steps to prevent and reduce the likelihood of it occurring.
Some individuals do have sexual addictions. In such cases, they may have a series of affairs or episodes of sexual acting out. If you suspect that your spouse has such a pattern, it is important to seek professional help. Such outbursts could be sexual addictions or manic episodes. It will take a professional to make such a determination. What is clear is that such behavior can not be ignored.
There are some situations where affairs behavior is predominate in families. Although it shows up in famlies, it does not mean that those born into it are doomed to have an affair. It also does not give someone an excuse to have an affair or excuse the affair and cover-up that occurs. Affairs and affair behavior can not be ignored. They need to be dealt with and resolved in order to prevent them from becoming a way of life or an ingrained pattern.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
