Recovering from an affair in a small town has its challenges. In a large city, one can avoid the places associated with the affair. In a small town, one is confronted with reminders on a daily basis. Having to see and be reminded of the affair makes it akin to a wound that never heals. Each day with places and people staring you in the face it is hard to put it behind you. In such cases, where you can not avoid the reminders, it is important to “re-frame” those reminders. You will need to change the meanings you have associated with those reminders. Since you can not change what happened, or avoid it, then you must change the meanings associated with those things and places.
You will be faced with choices concerning whether you let each reminder being a reason to curse and blame or whether you will change the meaning. Each reminder will either build you up or tear you down until you find a way to change the meaning of the events. Since there are several ways to change the meanings that people have found that works for them, I will not try and tell you which method is the one ‘tried and true’ best.
Once you select a method, you will need to give it time. It often takes several weeks of consistently using your method to change meaning before it does. So if you try this approach, do not give up after a week or two.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
