A common occurrence in dealing with affairs concerns people who ‘loose themselves’. They identify so closely with their spouse or lover, that when a crisis occurs, like that of an affair, they loose who they were. Such situations are an indication that there were some unhealthy aspects of the relationship. It was one that had more dependency involved that companionship. When a dependency based relationship fragments during an affair, people loose their sense of who they were. It becomes what sixties thinkers called “an existential crisis”. The anxiety and fear are real. The people and vision they built their life around is gone. They not only lost their spouse, they lost a BIG part of themselves in the process as well. They lost their future, their security, and their dreams. They are devastated. It is as if their whole world suddenly collapsed around them. Everything and everyone that they thought they knew and could count on suddenly are up for grabs.
It is possible to regain yourself. You can once again find your way back to ‘your old self’. It will take work, friends, crying and forgiving. Working through my e-book will help in this task. If you are afloat in confusion, you need some hope and an emotional life preserver. Rather than continue floundering, you can do something. Rather than tread water-take action.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
