In exploring the issue of cultural isolation and cheating, it occurred to me that a major problem in this area is dependency. When you are dependent on the cheater, it makes their actions more hurtful. It makes the wounding much harder to bear. You have the double wound of the cheating and the loathing you feel toward yourself for being dependent on them.
When you are faced with dependency, how can you deal with it? Escaping dependency takes time. It would be nice to have a “Get out of dependency free” card. It would be wonderful to make a sudden change and be able to fly away.
The reality is that it will take time. Dependency only diminishes as you gain your strength. You will need to take care of yourself and be able to stand on your own two feet first. You will have to bandage your own wounds before you can address the wounds of the relationship.
Those wonderful exotic locations and foreign countries that looked so appealing can become a trap. You can find yourself trapped in a nation and culture with no income and no way of escaping. In those situations, you will need to begin making preparations for your getaway. You will need to develop the skills, connections and supplies for your getaway bag. Some people have a literal bag with clothes, etc. for their departure. You will need to work on your own survival rather than fixing everything around you.
This strategy is also needed for spouses who need to escape cheating spouses with anger problems. You can find yourself a dependent victim in those cases as well. You will not be able to stop their anger. You will not be able to fix them. You will need to fix yourself and protect yourself first.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
