Anyone who has been through an affair eventually has to deal with the question of guilt. When the time comes to work through the issues related to the affair, both spouses often have to deal with guilt issues.
Guilt is more than just knowing that you have done wrong. It is also the sensation of being condemned. When you are guilty, you are no longer seen as having worth and value. Guilt destroys one’s reputation. The question “What will others think of me?” is often asked by those struggling with guilt. Guilt also brings with it fears of punishment. The guilty are fearful of what will happen to them.
Guilt is a heavy burden. Part of the craziness associated with guilt is that in order to deal with the depressed feelings which often accompany guilt, the guilty parties assume that there is no hope and they engage in more of what produced the guilt in the first place. This ‘hair of the dog’ strategy for dealing with guilt is destructive.
In dealing with guilt, it is essential to work on restoring the relationships, rather than pulling away. Work through the pain rather than running from it.
If you are wanting other ways of dealing with the pain associated with an affair, purchase “How to Survive Your Partner’s Affair”.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
