Have you ever considered the question, “What is it about the holidays that brings out affairs?” or “What is it about the holidays that brings out marriage problems?” When the holidays come around, you may find yourself putting expectations on yourself and others.
Those expectations put pressures on yourself and others. You may even view the holidays as your opportunity for making up any loses or deficiencies from your childhood.
Trying to use your spouse and family to make up for what you missed out on makes the expectations even worse. The holidays were never intended to be a cosmic make-over.
It does provide an opportunity for forgiving, but not for make-overs. It could be that your or your spouse’s desire for a makeover is where the holiday pressures are coming from.
When those pressures are unrealistic, people look for a release. There are some affairs that begin as a result of looking for relief from holiday pressures.
Under such circumstances, the cheaters are looking for someone who can accept them for who they are, without unrealistic expectations or pressures. They just want to be themselves, and accepted for that, without conditions.
The holidays and family get togethers often bring with them conditional love and expectations. Am I suggesting that holiday family get togethers make us sick?
In some cases, yes. Some families are not healthy. They create such expectations that people feel like they are in a force choice to either go crazy or find some kind of outlet.
That doesn’t make their choices good by any means, they are just looking for relief.
So the next time you feel pressure, you may want to stop and think. Consider whether you are enjoying your family or whether you are trying to make up for something missing from earlier in your life.
When you accept the here and now along with people for who they are, you will take tremendous pressure off your family, your spouse and yourself.
In the “Affair Recovery Workshop” you’ll learn more about unrealistic expectations and the dangers they pose. Your expectations may be contributing more to the affair than you realize. You can know the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations when it comes to your marriage.
Purchase your copy of the workshop today and start improving your relationship rather than waiting for holiday pressures to make things worse.
Best Regards,
Jeff
