One of the surprises that cheaters often encounter are the intense feelings of anger and revenge from their spouses. They knew that their partners will be angry, but they are often surprised at HOW ANGRY. But although they are surprised, they shouldn’t be.
When the cheater is plunging headlong into their passion with the affair, they forget that in plunging into the passion, they also release passions. The same intensity they plunge in with is often what they experience in payback. In some cases, the blow back is intentional. In other cases, it is a matter of natural consequences.
Cheaters have not learned that when you play with other people’s emotions and loyalties, there are consequences. They are so caught up in their own personal experiences that they often do not consider what they are unleashing in other areas.
Whether you call it natural consequences, karma, or the law of sowing and reaping, the bottom line is that there are always reactions and consequences to actions. When cheaters break their promises and marriage vows, a tremendous amount of energy is unleashed. This is simple physics. When the bonds that held people together are violated or broken, there is a tremendous release of energy.
Pleading ignorance, such as, “I didn’t know that you would be so upset!” or “It was just one night,” or “I never intended for it to get so serious,” are all ways of expressing naivete about bonding. When you marry, bonds are created. Those bonds have energy associated with them. Whether or not you understand that energy, it still remains. When you disregard those bonds and violate them without considering the consequences, you are asking for trouble.
In some cases, the reactions will consist of intense anger. In other situations, it may start as a slow burn that leads to revenge. The best approach is to avoid toying with other people’s emotions. With an affair, the cheater toys with their partner’s emotions, as well as those of the lover. They do not realize they are unleashing forces upon themselves. They are setting an emotional trap for themselves.
Many cheaters look at what they are doing as fun. Some may acknowledge that passion plays a part. They often do not understand that when feelings kick in—be they feelings of lust, revenge, anger, hurt, etc.—the chemical reactions associated with those feeling change the thinking of the partner and the lover. The feelings change how people think. The feelings change our ability to think clearly.
The cheater does not realize they are gambling with many forces. They may think that they are playing blackjack and that they are counting the cards, so they know what is coming. What they do not see is that the blackjack table they think they are at is actually part of a giant roulette wheel that changes with each spin. When the affair starts, events are put into motion that are bigger than what they ever imagined.
The best option is not to gamble. When you do not understand human emotions and bonding, you are playing a game that you are not trained for.
Best Regards,
Jeff
