Years ago, I heard the expression that a rut is nothing more than a grave with the ends kicked out. Even the best of marriages can have times where activity becomes routine. When the routine goes on too long, a numbing of the emotions and a taking for granted of your spouse occurs. Then you are in a rut. Ruts often lead to boredom and in dealing with boredom, some spouses assume that cheating will ‘fix’ it. They begin rutting for a partner. I know that rutting is usually associated with deer and their mating habits. When cheating is on the mind, many people act more base and animal-like in their thinking and actions. Like a rutting deer, the cheater often leaves signs that they are looking for a mate. Making changes in their appearance, wearing more perfume or cologne, toning up their bodies and spending more time away from home are some signs that your spouse may be doing a ‘rutting’ routine. There may even be changes in their behavior or changes in the smell of their clothing when they come home.
You need to know your spouse and identify these early signs. You need to know if they are looking for some excitement. This is especially true if you have been in a rut lately. If you have let yourself go, you may have also let go of some of your allure and attractiveness.
The time to take action is BEFORE there is a crisis and you are forced to act.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
